Learning about Safe Sex practices is an important part of life and growing into an adult. Most likely your teen has asked many questions whilst growing up about their body, relationships and sex already. Some of them I am sure you knew how to answer and you didn’t think much of it but then oh so suddenly, you realise they are at the age where thinking about having sex is closer then you thought and its time to have a more comprehensive “Talk” about sex & safety.

Now I know it isn’t the most easy conversation to have with your teen but it is an important one to have and be ready for.

I know there are many factors that make it awkward to start the conversation with your teen. for e.g

Being overwhelmed about what to say and what not to say
Not knowing what to cover
Fear of turning the conversation more into a lecture instead of a conversation.

So here are a few tips to help you prepare for “The Talk” on Sex & Safety.

One.

Firstly, its best to have a moment to yourself and think back to when you were a teen and your mum and dad/family were wanting to have “The Talk” with you.

How did it make you feel?

What did you feel?

Did they cover the things that you felt were necessary?

What did you wish they covered or wish they did?

Was it more to do with fear or understanding?

Maybe you didn’t even get “The Talk” and you wish you did.

Its really important to reflect on your own education and maybe what you felt was really missing for you. This can also create authenticity and understanding when it’s time to talk.

Two.

Research and understand what your teen might be facing in this era. It is a different world to when you grew up, add more technology and social media/instagram/snapchat/tik Tok and you have a new world of issues that your teen will be facing. Research, explore and get to know the world your teen is living in.

You can find many websites that are dedicated to providing information about what teens are facing at the moment. Ask teachers/other parents so you can dig a bit deeper into the modern world of teens.

Three.

Enquire with your teens school on what Sex Education Classes they cover and what they provide. Find out who is teaching the classes and if your teen feels comfortable with that teacher. Learning about Safe Sex practices from someone they are not comfortable with may cause a problem in them taking in the information. Some schools are really great at providing great sex education but there are some schools that still have a far way to go. Now it’s not all up to the school but knowing which information they cover can help you understand what gaps may be missing in their sex-education and need to be covered by yourself or even an external provider.

Four.

Ask yourself:

What am I most worried about for my teen?

Is it wearing protection?

Pregnancy?

Them not knowing how to communicate in sexual situations?

STI’s?

Birth Control?

Then ask yourself

How can I communicate this with my teen without letting my own fear take the drivers seat of the conversation.

It is normal to be concerned and want your teen to be safe, mentally and physically but you cannot force information onto them, as we know teens will not always respond to lectures but respond better to neutral/caring conversations.

Five.

Remember having “The Talk” Is not all about sex.

It’s about bodies, growing up, love, emotional safety, sexual expression, feelings, treating each other with respect, personal values, decisions and relationships.

I hope these five tips have helped you.

Remember you do not have to do it all by yourself.

I know your teens safety is important and so that’s why at Modern Intimacy Education we created the Sex & Emotional Safety Workbook and Communication Starter Condoms that are focused on teaching the importance of Emotional Safety and Sexual Encounters. We also have 1:1 sessions we provide to teens and parents that focus on the workbooks philosophy.

Click here for more information on the Workbook.

Click here for more information on the 1:1 Sessions.

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