The Journey of Intimacy: Reflections on Mindful Touch and Checking in.
On this serene Sunday morning in Glenelg, nestled by the beautiful sea, I find myself reflecting upon my intimate encounters throughout the years. I ponder how they have evolved since my early 20s and how much more fulfilling and profound my experiences of intimacy have become.
The concept of intimacy, closeness, and affection has always held a special place in my heart. Truth be told, in my early 20s, I felt disappointed by some of the individuals I chose to share intimacy with. It was undeniably a learning curve. Now, I can confidently say that I am discerning about the people I choose to spend intimate moments with...
I often find myself contemplating the factors that made me feel safe with certain partners—the words they spoke or the gestures that reassured me.
Sometimes, it was as simple as a compassionate gaze or the way they respectfully sought consent before touching.
Although not all intimate relationships withstand the test of time, for various reasons, I cherish the kindness and care I received from each one. They serve as reminders that such tenderness exists in the world. Moreover, they reinforce the importance of the care I extend to my intimate partners and the self-kindness I practice with myself. It is through these reflections that I learn to expect and seek this level of care and presence in my connections.
Every intimate partner brings their own unique sense of care into the realm of intimacy.
Mindful touch, care, and presence hold particular significance to me, shaped by past experiences where my voice went unheard and I lacked agency in the touch I received. Personally, expressing the importance of safety has been transformative, influencing the partners I choose. It has become a vital aspect of my intimate connections.
There are certain phrases that resonate deeply within me, which I encourage and appreciate:
"I can stop at any time."
"Just say, and I'll stop."
"Do you feel safe with me?"
"Where do you like to be touched?"
"How can I please you?"
"I just love laying with you."
"Holding me after intimacy."
"Eye gazing."
"Non-sexual touch."
"A look of care."
"Checking in throughout."
"Is this okay?"
"Are you in pain? I can stop."
These seemingly simple phrases have played a profound role in softening my heart, nurturing trust, and deepening the bond with my partners. They have drawn us closer and provided a sense of safety that I hold dear.
It is worth noting that each partner will bring their own unique understanding of care into the intimate space, shaped by their own experiences and perceptions. It is intriguing to witness the landscape of new partners and the care they bring or may not bring and how they take my need of more presence and care.
In conclusion, the journey of intimacy remains deeply personal, influenced by the self care and kindness you give yourself. Mindful touch and checking in are fundamental elements that cultivate safety, trust, and connection. By prioritizing these aspects, we create relationships that honor boundaries, desires, and the need for care, leading to more fulfilling and meaningful experiences of intimacy.
With love,
GA xo
